For those of you that follow me on Instagram, which you all should 😉🤗 ( @squallymuffin ), you saw that last weekend I went to Gatlinburg, TN and was partying it up for my fellow mommy friend’s bachelorette party. 🎉 4/7 of us ladies had kids and for 3 of us, it was our first time away from our kids overnight. While I was really feeling it for the bride-to-be and our mutual friend, both of which have newborns, I was having a complicated mix of emotions for myself as well, since I was the 3rd person getting this experience for the first time. The big difference between us was that my kid is a whole 3 years old and has had the honor and privilege of sleeping with me every night since she was born. 😅😱 I know, that’s crazy to imagine, but that is my truth by my own design.
There was a mandatory bonding trip of sorts the week before I started vet school and I ended up not going and preparing myself to suffer the consequences because the idea of leaving my 10 month old breastfed beauty over night was more than I could handle. It gave me the worse case of anxiety and literally made me sick. But now, 2 years and some change later, while the idea still ultimately didn’t sit well with me, I knew that this trip would be the perfect opportunity for me to get this anxiety provoking experience over with!
Despite all our planning, there were some last-minute changes for the better. The bachelor and his 2 kids came and spent the weekend with my husband and Muffin while we ladies did our thing a mere our away. It seems so simple, but the sheer fact that Muffin’s god brother whom she adores would be with her all weekend gave me so much comfort! I knew she was going to be fine regardless, but this was even BETTER!
I saw her Friday morning before she went to school and was back early Sunday afternoon, so by her account, I was gone less than 48 hours. According to my husband, Squally only asked for me by name twice. We FaceTimed once Saturday night and she was SUPER excited to see me, but once I attempted to bid her good night, then she got emotional and it hurt my SOUL. 😭😢 THIS was what I had been trying to avoid these 3 years of her life and the moment was finally here. 😩😫😖 Hubby assured me that she went to sleep within 5 minutes of hanging up, which gave me some comfort, but it was still an emotional moment for me. All of the girls around me even got emotional when they heard her start to cry. It was SO SAD!
I guess it’s safe to say that daddy did a great job, but he did say that he has a new appreciation for single mothers, especially single mothers of 2. Neither of which describe me 😒, but I encourage and respect his enlightenment nevertheless! He had to tend to all her needs, take her to all of her activities, make sure she ate, was entertained, and clean for all of 2 days and when I got back, let me tell you, he looked so relieved to share the work load again. 🤣 Parenting is so rewarding, but it’s also a lot of hard working, dedication and willingness to adapt and learn from your mistakes.
The question that I’ve been asked the most is, “Do you regret waiting so long to spend the night away from your kid?” The short and honest answer is no. I am a very attached parent and even now still have a hard time making sure that I make my husband feel as valued and loved as I know I make our daughter feel. It’s a continuous learning process for me and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the ride! Waiting until now gave me so much more comfort because she’s old enough to articulate a large portion of her wants and needs effectively and can adequately understand situations if and when explained to her properly. Sure, a newborn/young toddler may not even notice their parents absence, but my excuse was that she never took a bottle and was never weaned overnight. She still nurses at least one time before bed and once or twice overnight, but now at age 3, We are able to negotiate with her and that makes ME feel a million times better as I’m trying to sleep away from her.
I’m laying next to her write now as she sleeps in her twin bed; she’s snoring in my ear. The only reason I even thought to write this post was because she woke up and I wasn’t in here and called out, “mommy, I’m scared.” I was on my laptop sending emails, but you know me, I closed it and came running, because she’s only going to be 3 once. She’s not going to want to cuddle me forever. She may not remember these moments, but I will and I’ll cherish them forever. 👏🏽🤞🏽 We’ve been building this bond and sense of security since the day she was born and I take maintaining that VERY seriously. Everybody parents differently and you may think that I’m overprotective and super sensitive, and you could be right, I might be. But the point is that we all parent based on our experiences and do things on our own timelines. I have finally spent the night away from my kid and she was fine and so was I! 😅🥴 That’s one more milestone to mark and a door opened for more experiences for my family! I can’t wait to share them as they come!!